My husband took the kids out this afternoon so I could get some stuff done around the house. God bless him. I've been cleaning up around the house and when I clean, I think. So I keep thinking about what I want to become. When I reach my destination, wherever and whenever that might be. There are certain things that I've been been personally working on, some things I think the antidepressants have been helping with, and some things I'm learning through therapy. A few of things are self-evident in the spot I'm in right now - my husband took the kids, I asked him to take the kids and he did! I'm alone in the house and getting a lot done! Shocker of all shocks! Not that he wouldn't if I asked him to, my problem is actually the asking. That's one of my goals:
To speak up and ask for what I want, and not feel badly about it.
Another goal that I was able to accomplish for today anyway (and I'm not sure if it's the antidepressants doing it or just time, or what, but who cares, really, right?):
To feel motivated and keep up with my daily tasks and not put them off.
Another directly related to that:
To have energy throughout the day so that I can accomplish things and not feel the need to take a nap in the afternoon.
I'm not even feeling the least bit drowsy right now, and you have no idea how good that feels.
Here are a couple more goals that I'm working towards, that I haven't quite gotten yet:
To be articulate, friendly, interactive, a good listener, without sacrificing who I am.
To be honest all the time and not feel bad when someone doesn't want the truth. To stop lying, and realize that the people are not going to stop loving me if I'm honest.
To stand up for myself, my values, my beliefs, my opinions and my tastes, and realize that people will like me for who I am.
To be the kind of person that my kids will look up to and try to emulate.
To avoid anything petty, mean, callous, negative and/or passive agressive. And to learn how to deal with those things when I can't avoid them.
To be responsible, including improving my memory and getting tasks done without procrastination.
To improve my relationship with my husband, which includes being honest with him, expressing my needs, and re-learning what it means to be intimate. To learn how to love myself so that I can better love him.
I'm so glad you spoke up for yourself! I really liked the one about being honest and not feeling like people will dislike you if you tell your truth. I struggle with the same thing, and I always have to remember that being honest is just that important to me. It sounds like you are really learning about yourself and doing such a great job!
ReplyDeleteThanks Holly. I'm trying, that's for sure. :) About the honesty thing, I know how it feels to be lied to, so I shouldn't expect that people won't want the truth out of me.
ReplyDelete